


Tales From Peanut Butter

by bunnyzilla



Category: Thrilling Intent (Web Series)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-10 01:40:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3272051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnyzilla/pseuds/bunnyzilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The gang discuss the things Gregor discovered in the book of ultimate truth over drinks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tales From Peanut Butter

“Please dear friend, tell us another story til it’s end.”

“I still don’t think there was anything right in that whole book guys.”

“You’re picture was right and everything it said about me was true. You just don’t want to admit that you can breathe fire.”

Ashe gave a growl of frustration and took another drink from her bottle of keer.

The three adventurers were sat around one of the tables in the nine shrines bar. Ashe and Markus both had drinks in hand and managed to get Gregor away from the subject of how alcohol was a poison to the body and on to the many untruths of the peanut butter book.

Gregor rubbed at his chin as he tried to remember more that the book had said, they had already been through the vast majority of what he could recall.

“Markus once rode down the side of a mountain with two plates strapped to his feet.” He said finally then hesitated. “Or on a tea tray.”

“It was the tea tray or so I say.” Markus said with a grin as Ashe narrowed her eyes at him.

“Don’t you go saying any of this is right. None of it is right.” She crossed her arms and leaned back. “How would you even survive that?”

“It is completely true I tell you and the ride was really a very leisurely slide.” The horned man waggled his eyebrows at her then turned back to Gregor. “What about Kier? Has he ever ridden on a deer? How many boats does he keep under the pier?”

Again Gregor had to have a long think. “He was actually born with brown eyes but one of the potions he made turned them blue. I think that is the last thing I can remember about him.”

“That- that I could almost believe actually. So at least some of it isn’t impossibly far-fetched.”

“You do not believe in my mountain slide? Well madam that hurts my pride.”

His sulky glare was not very threatening. Ashe stared back, her expression flat. “No. No I do not.”

Markus’ mood did not stay poor for long, he perked up and shrugged before launching into another spiel. “Well fine. I do not need to convince you all the time. Gregor, if it is not a bore how about you tell us just one more? To continue our dialogue how about we speak of our dear friend Thog? Has he ever owned a dog? Has he lived inside a bog?”

“That was some good rhyming.”

Markus spread his arms and bowed as far forward as the table would allow.

“Should we really talk about him?” Ashe asked. “I mean he is just over there.” She gestured towards the other end of the bar where the man in question was busy reorganizing the entire alcohol stock for the fifth time that week out of sheer boredom.

“Don’t worry Ashe. The book said he likes it when other people talk about him.” Gregor reached over and patted her arm.

Markus also patted her arm. “Thog is our friend in every way, I’m sure the book only has nice things to say.”

“It didn’t say much about him anyway. Just his chest size and that his hair is actually ginger and he doesn’t have nipples.”

Both Markus and Ashe stared at him.

“I’m pretty sure Thog has nipples.” Ashe ventured. “I think it is safe to say the book lied about that. Everyone has them.”

“Not him.” Gregor shook his head. “And you can’t just assume that because most people have them that everybody has them. Not everybody is the same.”

“All the same I’m really, really sure he has them.”

“Have you seen them?”

“Well.” She paused. “I’ve seen him without his shirt on so I must have? I have.”

“Or you just assumed you did. There’s no shame in admitting you made an assumption.”

“I didn’t make an assumption, he has them.” Ashe turned to the third member of the group and pleaded. “Markus, back me up on this.”

“Hmmm.” He scratched his head. “I cannot for certain say I’ve seen his nipple” He paused to smile. “Perhaps one day after a tipple.”

“Ugh.” Ashe groaned and rested her head on the table as Markus chugged down a large measure of his keer.

“You three have been suspiciously quiet over here what are you up to?” The white haired adventurer had not heard his approach, the sound of his voice caused her to yelp and sit bolt upright. He ignored her surprise and continued talking. “Judging by the grin Markus is giving me it’s nothing good.”

“We are merely discussing many a fable from Gregor’s book of truths around the table.”

“Oh. The rhyming thing again?” He sighed. “I thought you three would have given it up by now.”

Markus gave a huff. “I rhyme to remember our caper so our recollections don’t turn to vapor.”

Thog stood up a little straighter, eyes narrowing at the group. “Yeah and I’m still sure that was a thing that never happened.”

“Oh come on Thog. The tax goat is fine but you draw the line at magic cards?” Ashe quirked an eyebrow at him.

“I thought we agreed we were never going to talk about that again? I never want to see another of those-“

“I really don’t mean to gloat but did someone just say tax goat?”

_snap_

“Bweh.”

The small creature with it’s clipboard appeared standing in the centre of the table. Thog took one look at it and turned around.

“I’m sorry I even came over.”

“If it’s not too late sir please wait.” Markus got to his feet with a scrape of his chair, which was actually a repurposed crate.

Thog paused and turned to look at him. “I’m going to regret this but what is it Markus?”

“Now that my drink is nothing but dribbles, please good sir would you show us your nipples?”

“Beh.” The goat took a note.

“Oh god.” He turned and started walking. “I’m leaving.”

Ashe snorted a couple times then started laughing unable to wait until he was out of earshot.

“Eh weh.”


End file.
